I know that titles sounds sort of weird. Although that is what I feel like I'm going through. My demon in life is my anxiety and depression. I've had to start taking medication about 4 1/2 years ago to deal with it. In these same years I was almost certain we would not have more children so I wasn't worried about the medication or birth control. Although then we both decided that maybe now we are ready to have more. It felt good at the time.... I told my doctor, she removed my birth control and then told me that I must come off the meds. I was pretty confident that this wasn't going to be hard since I never took anything with the other two. Anyways, getting off these meds is easier said then done. I haven't given up yet, it's too early. Although I can feel my demon trying to regrow in my brain. Today I was soooo tired, even though I had plenty of sleep, irritable to the extreme, and I had my first crying spell in I don't even know how long ago since the last one. I don't want to feel this way at all and I wonder when and if it will end soon. Jeremy is so understanding and never walks away from me when I'm falling apart. He just wants me to be happy. I don't want to let him down in any way.I did end up taking some more medication today so that I would stop crying and panicking over nothing. I feel alot better as I lay in my bed ready to call it a day.
I don't express myself much in my blog, but I find it therapeutic. I have wonderful people in my life who love me and can help support me, for that I feel comfortable sharing these kind of embarrassing and humbling experience.
I love you all...good night
5 comments:
Hey Angela,
I know how you feel-I will KILL the person who takes away my meds! Let me know if you need to talk, I'm here. Good luck and keep trying-it'll be worth it!
Oh Ang, I feel so bad for you. If ever you need to call me - no matter the time of day - I'm here for you. And hey, we've always got facebook chat. I understand a lot of what you are going through. Did your doctor tell you to get off the meds slowly or go cold turkey? Just keep your eye on the prize and think of the little baby you'll get in return of this horror you are facing now. Love ya'!
As of late, as I posted earlier, I can certainly relate to the anxiety. I'm sorry you are going through this, but at least there is a higher purpose in the end. You have a goal to aim for, which I'm pretty sure is a worthy one.
And yeah, your frieds do love ya.
Angela,
You are amazing! Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything. We will keep you in our prayers.
I wish I was closer to help you through this time. You know I love you and I'm hear whenever you need to talk or anything. You can get through this, you have been through a lot worse, well in my opinion. Love ya
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