I haven't figured out why in a place so beautiful I can feel so lost. I watch my children going through the same thing. I see my daughter go outside and stand right in front of a group of new faces and be completely ignored. I watch her come back home with tears welling in her eyes. Everything is so different then what she is use to. I can tell she misses her nerdy little friends that she made in Monterey. It can break my heart because I want it to be different for her. Then I feel like it is my fault. What kind of mom am I....I read other blogs and sometimes I just feel worse about my mothering. Im not sure what to change....my first step will be trying to get back to church. It sounds easy but it's really not.
Kya is adjusting too, luckily for him he can read and loves video games so that is his escape. I think Lucy's escape from loneliness is her new little art station that we made for her. She loves it. Always creating, of course everything is very abstract....but sweet all the same............
I can't wait for tomorrow because we get to explore the island and forget about any problems for a moment, plus the air conditioner is broken, even more reason to get out of here.
2 comments:
Ang, you are doing the best you can and are a great mom so just hang in there. I totally understand how you feel though; I kinda feel the same way too about blogs and mothering and church too. Maybe it has something to do with us being over 30. It pretty much sucks. There's something they never taught us in Young Womens! I'll give you a call soon.
Oh, and bummer about the a/c. It's suppose to snow here today! Have fun exploring the island. =) Love ya'!
For me, it almost always takes a full year to get used to things after a move. Why is that? It happens every time!
I sure appreciate your comments on your blog. I love that you are not all "Miss Perfect" all the time- and that I can feel like my life is normal, too. I have a whole summer's worth of weight to "unload" which could possibly put us in a similar situation as yourselves. It's just dying to hit the blog ...soon, I hope. (Just goes to show, a blog never really tells EVERYTHING, right?). ;)
Anyway, I don't know if you've heard, but Utah has one of the highest rates for depression in the US. And, there has been lots of effort in the wards and stakes here to combat that in the church. I really think it has to do with each sisters' desire to be perfect mothers and wives, like President Uchtdorf said in Women's Conference. We're so good at seeing the good in others (in Utah we're surrounded by it), but fail to see the good in ourselves. I think blogs kind of create that same effect. I love how motivated I feel to try harder and be better. But, sometimes I feel like my efforts will never measure up to all the good I see in others. I've learned, the best medicine for me is to read my own blog now and then and see how much I do. Try it -you do more than you know! Trust me, I LOVE reading your blog!
Anyway, Angela, hang in there! A better day will come. And, at least you have the blessings of the internet to keep up family ties and friendships. Maybe your kids can keep up with their friends that way, too?
(Sheesh- sorry I wrote you a novel. Someone over here is a little OCD about writing to her favorite people on the internet- can you tell?)
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